How to spend a New Year's Eve

Go ahead and pile on the gold cream eyeshadow.

Get a tiara for your sister and yourself.

Get a good Candy Land tournament going with the whole family.



2010, you were great. You brought us Zofia and completed our family. However, there are a few things you can take with you when you go,

1. Colds, croup, and anything even remotely like it. Down with mucus in 2011!

2. Fedoras. I've just really had enough of seeing hipsters in fedoras.

3. Skinny jeans on men. I mean, really. SKINNY JEANS?? ON MEN?? NO!!!! STOPITSTOP!

4. That's enough with the Justin Bieber stuff now.

5. TyPiNg lIkE tHIs.

6. The "Scary Movie" franchise and all of its spin-offs.

7. The Detroit Pistons sucking.

8. And while we're talking basketball, LeBron James.

9. My gut.

10. Putting all the fat and calories on every food item. Let me eat my Big 'n Tasty in peace you freaking health nuts.

In 2011 I'm making an actual resolution (I never have before.)

I will improve on all of my adult relationships that have suffered in the last 4 years.

Happy New Year, friends.