Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Underachieving

For quite some time now I've been thinking about finally finishing up my degree. I've been working on it off and on for 12 years, but every time I really get going in school I panic and stop. My whole life I've always stopped just short of achieving my goals. You see, if I don't try my hardest to complete something, then I don't have to worry about the embarrassment of failure.

My intelligence and success in school were always points of pride for me when I was younger. Classes were generally a breeze for me and I rarely had to try very hard. "Rarely" being the key word. Superman has his Kryptonite and I have mine: Math. Calculus, algebra, basic math; it doesn't matter. They're all terrifying words to me. The one and only negative note my mother ever received about me was that I was struggling with my math lessons. I. Was. Mortified. From that point on, all the way through high school, I did everything I could to cover up my struggles. I cheated. Rather than ask for help, I cheated. Can you imagine the mental relief I would have felt if someone would have set me up with a math tutor? I can tell you one thing, I'll be much more aware and watching for any signs of struggle with my ladies. I don't want them to feel like I did in school.

And hopefully it's not too late to get some math help for me. Someone would help this elderly college student, right?