(I'm still blogging from my phone. Bear with me.)
When I found out I was pregnant with Zofia, many of you recall how petrified I was. I greatly feared that I could never love another like Athena, and also that Athena would be fraught with jealousy. The good news? Athena has never once shown even a hint of jealousy. The bad news? Dearest baby sister Zofia has... and it's bad. If I hug, kiss, or cuddle Athena, zofia loses.her
mind. She screams, kicks, thrashes, and wedges herself between us clutching my breasts as if they might be stolen from her.
Athena use to think it was funny. She use to laugh as her sister alligator death-rolled between us and went about her business. Then something happened. Last night when zofia did her typical stiff-arm move and began nursing, athena's lip started quivering. Then her face crumpled. Then she wailed. Oh guys, she wailed. "Mama! Mama why can't you just hug me? Please hug me mama! I need you.
Then my heart broke into a million little pieces.
How do I do this? How do I give them both all my love yet make sure no one feels rejected or cast aside again? This is so hard, man. So hard.
I need some good mama advice.
5 comments:
I can only speak for what I know would work with Allie - we had a big problem with Matt and I showing any affection toward each other - she would scream and shove herself between us and cling to Matt pushing me away (nice, right?) because he's her DADDY and he's HERS.
So we made it into a fun game. We started hugging random stuff around the room and exclaiming "Mommy hugs your teddy! YAY hugs!" or "Daddy hugs the doggie - yay!!!" So she started imitating us - hugging things and saying "yay!" and eventually - slowly- we built up to "mommy hugs allie" / daddy hugs allie and then finally mommy and daddy hug. It seemed to work for us, but ours was a very short lived problem and it didn't involved Teh Boobz which I know Zofia has a very special relationship with :)
Who knows - give it a shot - worst case scenario you'll have hugged a lot of toys and feel like an idiot HAHA :)
I can only speak for what I know would work with Allie - we had a big problem with Matt and I showing any affection toward each other - she would scream and shove herself between us and cling to Matt pushing me away (nice, right?) because he's her DADDY and he's HERS.
So we made it into a fun game. We started hugging random stuff around the room and exclaiming "Mommy hugs your teddy! YAY hugs!" or "Daddy hugs the doggie - yay!!!" So she started imitating us - hugging things and saying "yay!" and eventually - slowly- we built up to "mommy hugs allie" / daddy hugs allie and then finally mommy and daddy hug. It seemed to work for us, but ours was a very short lived problem and it didn't involved Teh Boobz which I know Zofia has a very special relationship with :)
Who knows - give it a shot - worst case scenario you'll have hugged a lot of toys and feel like an idiot HAHA :)
Oh, I'm sorry, Mama. I can give you the same advice my doc gave me: Isobel would flip out if I hugged anyone: friends, my parents, but especially Anthony. He said to include her and talk about how much I love her & Anthony. It didn't make it better but we did it just the same.
Awe, sorry you are going through this! Isn't it so hard to make everyone feel equal? Ugh.
When we have sparks of jealously regarding hugs/etc. we play hugging games. Let's all hug Mama, Let's all hug S, let's all hug E! We make it fun and silly. We even group hug stuffed animals. Ha. The latest thing is making a Mama (or E or S) sandwich. We sandwich the person between us and hug away. They start giggling and soon forget they were 'jealous'.
Good luck! I'm sure they BOTH know you love them, even though they probably pout those little lips out at you and make you feel awful.
Hugs!
Poor Athena. Poor everyone. How about once a week or whatever you decide you spend a little one on one time with each girl. And label it your "special time with Athena" and "special time with Zofia." Of course this requires hubby to be home.
Post a Comment