I'm SO EXCITED for Chef to be back! Oh how I miss him when he's gone!
Dominic the stay at home dad got the boot.
From ''Hell's Kitchen'': Reheated So here's your menu of contestants:
Rosann Receptionist in a law office. Very Melanie Griffith in Working Girl, if Melanie Griffith were rail-thin and brunette and had the personality of a character from a Tracey Ullman sketch about New York City receptionists. Signature dish: spicy mussel soup that was ''not too bad.''
Vanessa Line cook who believes this is her destiny. Referred to as ''Hannah Montana'' by Rosann. Signature dish: pan-seared halibut that was the best of the day.
Craig Sous chef who is 5 feet 5 inches tall and showed up wearing an absurd chef's toque thing that Ramsay, implying it was a substitute for Craig's manhood, made Craig take off. At this point, I did believe Craig was going to cry. Signature dish: Chilean-sea-bass risotto, deemed a ''pile of s---.''
Bobby Executive chef. Self-proclaimed ''black Gordon Ramsay.'' Obsessed with generals, being a general, who is and isn't a general. Possibly insane, so check that box on your ''Reality-Show Contestants and Race: Stereotypes on Parade'' scorecard if you'd like. Signature dish: deep-fried Hawaiian butterfish that Ramsay called ''lazy.'' Oh, no. Does that mean two checkmarks?
Jen Line cook who makes tooting noises and claims she can carve Chef Ramsay's face in a watermelon. Appears generally capable. Signature dish: crab risotto with raw rice.
Corey ''Simple, plain, blond, and boring.''
Jason Sous chef. Addicted to nicotine and misogyny. Would almost certainly lose to women each and every day in an ''I'm Not Bald, How 'Bout You?'' competition.
Shayna Caterer. Burns things.
Matt Sous chef, a self-described ''true culinary.'' Holds the outstanding honor of being the first contestant in HK history to make Chef Ramsay puke, courtesy of his signature dish: venison tartare, scallops, caviar, white chocolate. Oh, and capers.
Dominic Stay-at-home dad. Signature dish: chicken cacciatore, deemed ''boring.''
Petrozza Catering director who stuffed a hen in a pumpkin. ''Oh, f--- me'' indeed.
Sharon Room-service chef. Wears heels and makeup, and she ''don't think there's nothing wrong with that.'' Jen nicknames her Barbie, comments on her ''knockers.'' And I hate to side with the obvious on this one, but come on: ''room-service chef''? Please do not force me to sit here and come up with 36 dirty puns involving the phrase amuse-bouche. Ah, poop. Too late.
Ben Electrician. ''Not bad.'' I concur. He can scoot his boots in my kitchen any day, if you know what I mean. And I think you do, Sharon.
Christina Student. Meh.
Louross Hotel cook and part-time toilet brush. Sudden burst of bossiness combined with overly fussy hair reminiscent of a significantly less fierce Christian Siriano.
Rosann Receptionist in a law office. Very Melanie Griffith in Working Girl, if Melanie Griffith were rail-thin and brunette and had the personality of a character from a Tracey Ullman sketch about New York City receptionists. Signature dish: spicy mussel soup that was ''not too bad.''
Vanessa Line cook who believes this is her destiny. Referred to as ''Hannah Montana'' by Rosann. Signature dish: pan-seared halibut that was the best of the day.
Craig Sous chef who is 5 feet 5 inches tall and showed up wearing an absurd chef's toque thing that Ramsay, implying it was a substitute for Craig's manhood, made Craig take off. At this point, I did believe Craig was going to cry. Signature dish: Chilean-sea-bass risotto, deemed a ''pile of s---.''
Bobby Executive chef. Self-proclaimed ''black Gordon Ramsay.'' Obsessed with generals, being a general, who is and isn't a general. Possibly insane, so check that box on your ''Reality-Show Contestants and Race: Stereotypes on Parade'' scorecard if you'd like. Signature dish: deep-fried Hawaiian butterfish that Ramsay called ''lazy.'' Oh, no. Does that mean two checkmarks?
Jen Line cook who makes tooting noises and claims she can carve Chef Ramsay's face in a watermelon. Appears generally capable. Signature dish: crab risotto with raw rice.
Corey ''Simple, plain, blond, and boring.''
Jason Sous chef. Addicted to nicotine and misogyny. Would almost certainly lose to women each and every day in an ''I'm Not Bald, How 'Bout You?'' competition.
Shayna Caterer. Burns things.
Matt Sous chef, a self-described ''true culinary.'' Holds the outstanding honor of being the first contestant in HK history to make Chef Ramsay puke, courtesy of his signature dish: venison tartare, scallops, caviar, white chocolate. Oh, and capers.
Dominic Stay-at-home dad. Signature dish: chicken cacciatore, deemed ''boring.''
Petrozza Catering director who stuffed a hen in a pumpkin. ''Oh, f--- me'' indeed.
Sharon Room-service chef. Wears heels and makeup, and she ''don't think there's nothing wrong with that.'' Jen nicknames her Barbie, comments on her ''knockers.'' And I hate to side with the obvious on this one, but come on: ''room-service chef''? Please do not force me to sit here and come up with 36 dirty puns involving the phrase amuse-bouche. Ah, poop. Too late.
Ben Electrician. ''Not bad.'' I concur. He can scoot his boots in my kitchen any day, if you know what I mean. And I think you do, Sharon.
Christina Student. Meh.
Louross Hotel cook and part-time toilet brush. Sudden burst of bossiness combined with overly fussy hair reminiscent of a significantly less fierce Christian Siriano.
6 comments:
This year is going to be SO good!!!!
The hen in the pumpkin killed me. Did he really think that Chef was going to be impressed? I'm surprised he didn't chuck it at him.
I am beyond pissed that I forgot about this last night. I am happy that you can watch full episodes online and will be doing that as soon as I get home tonight!
I LOVE this show and love everything with him! Have you seen any of his shows on BBC....he is awesome!
Oh, and I totally love the update!
I JUST got BBC so I've been watching him at every available opp. He really is a national treasure.
I missed it last night, but he is hilarious.
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