Have any of you felt like you absolutely had to get closure with someone? Did you attempt it, and then ultimately achieve it? Is it really something that can make you close a chapter in your life or will some things just be open forever; always there to wake up at different intervals and make you feel weird?
4 comments:
It is my opinion that if you require closure with a particular person, whether they did YOU wrong or you did them wrong, all you can do is make the first move and express your authentic feelings and most specifically, what you wish to receive from this exchange: an apology, forgiveness for your actions, the wish to move forward and never look back at the past conflict, etc.
If the other party is receptive - fantastic. However, if the other party is not, you have done what you can do.
Based on your true feelings, you must feel confident that this is now out of your hands, no longer resting on your shoulders. You've done what you can do.
You may have been ready for closure/reconciliation when the other party was not.
Good answer Ky.
Closure is a tricky one. I don't think you can fully feel "closure" until you have fixed it with yourself. Even if you have the perfect speech delivered to a voicemail or a perfect letter drafted (because you know a conversation never goes the way it should), you still won't feel it.
I don't think that if you are seeking closure from talking with or having contact with the other person, you are ready. For me and in my experience, time and more experience heals wounds. Some hurts don't go away, they dissipate, but they remain just a little to serve a little red flags (aka, life lessons) and help you make better decisions in the future.
Someone told me before that you never get closure, you just move on with your life, otherwise you are stuck in the past. The big question is, how can we do that without closure? This is a hard thing to do.
AKA Therapy :)
agree with both Ky and Iris. Closure can be tricky a thing but I do think it can be important if YOU have something you want to say.
I think it is that one last opportunity to say what you want to say. I think it is important to try to talk things out without bring too much emotion to the table (like yelling, being rude) which can be hard if you are leaving on bad terms. Some relationships just don't work out but by getting everything you have off your chest it does acknowledge the relationship you DID have and I think that is good for everyone.
Do what is best for you, I know how hard this can be :)
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