Friday, January 14, 2011

About last night... thank you.

First of all, I want to be totally honest about something. While I thought all of the suggestions I got sounded great in theory, I didn't think there was any way anything was going to work for Zofia and me. I honestly thought this was something that I just had to deal with until she grew out of it. With that said...

Around 9 o' clock I was nursing Zofia in her room, she was dozing, and I was praying to dear God above that we weren't going to have a repeat of the night before. As she started to drift off further and released her latch, I gently put her down in her bed.

SCREAM. FLAIL. ROLL.

Oh no... and I fell right back into it. I picked her up and started nursing again. Why? Because it was soooo successful the night before? Sigh.

She drifted back off again and I gently put her down.

SCREAM. FLAIL. ROLL.

And here's where my brain intervened. It said, "You know what? You got a lot of advice that YOU ASKED FOR yesterday. Aren't you even going to try?"

So I did. I didn't pick her up and nurse. I just gently rubbed her back and let her know I was still there. After about 2 minutes I started to cry a little too because I thought that there was no way I wasn't going to be doing this all night. There was no way just rubbing her back was going to work and I was never going to sleep again. Then after minute 3 SHE.FELL.ASLEEP. I did it and it worked.

Now this isn't to say that the night was perfect. I had to do this a couple more times and I slept for a little while on the floor next to her bed where she could see me, but I did it. It would seem so minor to some, but I got over a HUGE hurdle for myself. I am so grateful for the advice and support I received yesterday, I just can't even put it into words. It made me think of my poor mother when I was born. When she had me, she lived north of Detroit with my biological dad and no friends or family around. After she brought me home, my dad decided it was too much to deal with and took off for Florida, leaving her utterly and completely alone. I was a screamer, colicky to the max, and got croup twice when I was an infant. I was the first baby she had ever been around and she was terrified. I wish so much I could go back in time and beat Al Gore to inventing the internets for her so she could have mommies like you guys to talk to and make things all better for her. How people go it alone, I'll never know.

It takes a village, right?

6 comments:

Ky • twopretzels.com said...

I am so, so, so glad that last night was tolerable.

Hang in there.

And yes, this mommy network is phenomenal.

It does indeed take a village.

thelittlebig said...

Yay, Mama!

wrestling kitties said...

I am glad you found something that worked! Hopefully this will get better for both of you :) HUG

And I know my mother would have also loved to have the internet then. I had colic bad and my poor mom was 22. Then she also became a single mother when I was a young'n. Though at times the internet can be information overload, I couldn't imagine not having a strong group of people to talk to with different issues!

Written Permission said...

YES! I'm so glad you had a good (or at least decently good) night! And that you have such an amazing mama network -- something I hope to take advantage of someday, too. Hang in there. HUG.

Sassytimes said...

Good for you! Isn't is so hard?!?! I'm glad she (and you) got more sleep.

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