Friday, November 11, 2011

Hey! I was told potty-training girls was easy!

If you've had an easy way to go with potty-training your kid, count your blessings. Count them nice and slow and maybe do it a couple times. I was told by multiple mommies that potty-training girls was a breeze. That is was SO much easier than training boys. So when my sister in law trained her son at 1 1/2 in record time I thought, "Dang! Potty-training Athena is going to be a walk in the park!" Well, it's been a really long walk in the park, in snow, uphill both ways.

Getting her to pee on the potty wasn't too bad. Granted, she preferred running outside and peeing in the grass like the dogs, but I took what I could get. At least she wasn't doing it on the floor. Number 2, on the other hand, was a nightmare. She has constipation issues that made her afraid of the toilet, and it was all sorts of ugly getting her to just TRY the potty. It took 2 full years. Things went smooth for a while. She was in underwear all the time, always using the potty, and her pull-ups stayed dry all night. Next we let her try sleeping in underwear. No go. She peed the bed. Put a pull-up on her the next night: Dry. Tried underwear again: Peed the bed. WTF?

Now, at 4 1/2 years old we're regressing even further. She has peed on the floor a couple times and is routinely peeing in a pull-up at night. When I question her she says she's sorry, it was an accident, and that I don't get mad when Sissy does it.

Is this a sibling/jealousy thing? Should I be concerned that she's going to be a chronic bed wetter? Any thoughts on handling this? It's weighing quite heavily on me as I want to do what's best to help her and not make it worse.


sarah said...

We had a horrible time potty training Daughter. We still have problems with her holding her poop for days and getting tummy aches. It sucks and just when it starts to get better something in her routine changes and it sucks even more. So could it be something in your daughter's routine changed? Is she scared to get up alone at night? Could she have a urinary tract infection? I'm sorry I'm not full of suggestions. Perhaps you could just get a wet/dry handheld vacuum and put a waterproof mattress pad on the bed? Or try talking to your doctor. I bet they deal with this kind of stuff a lot. Good luck and know you're not alone! I'm praying that Son is easier to potty train. I'm not sure I'll be able to take it if he's worse.

the grumbles said...

i haven't gone through this, you know, but my only other thought is just to totally lay off it. it sounds like she can tell you REALLY want her to do it and she's not going to give in and do it because you want it so bad. so maybe step back and stop talking about it for a while. offer the potty, accept accidents without comment (but try the clean up thing), and move on. what do you have to lose?

(also, i read an article saying that it's normal for kids to have trouble at night up to age 5/6, so i wouldn't worry about night and focus on day. if a pullup is what she needs to feel confident at night so be it. she will not be wearing one to college, promise.)

Ky • said...

Ok, if it were me I'd ban pull-ups.


She's showing you that she does have bladder control by not peeing in the pull-ups.

I am absolutely not a pull-ups fan unless there is a medical reason to use them. I find them to be diapers. And I think it's confusing to sometimes use them and sometimes not. Someone close to me advocated that we go this route when we were training Lila (use underwear sometimes, pull-ups other times)... and I bought them. I just couldn't bear to bring myself to use them. It's like telling Lila, "I'm serious that this potty thing has to happen. Just not all the time. Just when you're wearing underwear. Not when you're wearing pull-ups."

Confusing, no?

We cleaned up a LOT of pee. I was peed on ALL the time. THERE WAS A LOT OF PEE. EVERY NAP. EVERY NIGHT. On the floor. Everywhere.

So here's what I would do.

New day, new leaf.

I'd limit liquids after bed time so that the peeing doesn't happen in the underpants. When she wakes up dry, Praise! Praise! Praise! "Fifi, How AMAZING is Athena?!" In the mornings, I'd IMMEDIATELY JUMP out of bed the minute Sweet A. opens her eyes and put her on the potty. Make it a game, who can get there first?

Bribery. Give her what she craves when she goes. Marshmallows are like GOLD in this house. If Lila wanted 93 of them, she could have them... if she went potty.

Regarding poop? Well, can you change her diet at all? Taryn had huge issues with Aubrey with this. Constipation, crying, pain, etc. She didn't force it and it eventually worked itself out (truly.) She changed her diet immensely and still must do it today to keep her regular. She just kept demonstrating that she must use the potty. That's where poo-poo goes. No other options.

Can you give A some really fun stuff when she's sitting on the potty going #2? Stickers? Fun stuff to do? They'd be her special things.

So my call? Burn the pull-ups and be prepared to get peed on 24/7.

Athena is SMART. REALLY, REALLY smart. She's pulling one over on you. Of course you don't get mad at Fifi when she pees in her diaper, she's a baby. Athena is a big girl. She can TOTALLY do this.

(Do you still heart me?)

Ky • said...

*I'd limit liquids BEFORE bedtime. (Duh.) Sorry about that.

Wendy said...

I agree with Ky's advice and wanted to add just a few other nuggets of advice too! :) When the girls were potty training, we had a pee-pee poo-poo chart in the bathroom. Granted, this was a bit of a healthy competition thing between the two of them, so I don't know if it'll work with A, BUT, the girls got princess stickers on their chart if they went in the pot or stayed dry. It became a fun game - they wanted to earn the stickers. When we were getting toward the end of training, we bought them each a toy that they really wanted and it sat on top of the fridge. They were told they'd get the toy when they were completely trained. That worked like a charm! Took Lydia two days to get her toy - took Arlene four. So maybe some sort of incentive like that?

Best wishes, and stay sane! She WILL do it!