Wednesday, January 11, 2012

So I guess we're doing the family bed.

Sleep has always been an issue in this house including sleeping arrangements. Louis and I both have insomnia issues and I swear the man gets up to pee 52 times a night. The constant tossing, turning, and up and down from both of us kept the other one awake. It turned into this game of musical beds, traveling all over the house just to get some sleep.

When Athena was born I was so consumed with the idea that she would stop breathing in her sleep I had to have her by my side at all times. She woke up for teh milks every 2-3 hours until she was 2. This was not conducive to sleep for Louis who had to get up for work at 6am. This put him in the bedroom upstairs and Athena and me in the spare room. 4 1/2 years later she's still sleeping with me.

Along came Zofia. Louis was determined to have one child use the crib and sleep solo. Zofia liked her own space so this went well for her... up until this demonic stomach bug that was just in our house. Louis manned Athena and they slept together upstairs. I manned Zofia and we slept together in Athena's bed. Zofia has decided that sleeping in Athena's bed rules. When Athena came back to her room and Zofia got a taste of sleeping with me AND Athena, well, I fear there's no turning back.

Exhibit A:
Being able to sleep with a boob in your mouth? Yes please.

Sleeping with your favorite sister? Heck yes!

Being able to wake your sister via rodeo? Best. Thing. Ever.

So there we are. All together in one bed. The plan was to get Athena sleeping alone, Zofia in the crib, and maybe try to have a parental alone time room. This clearly isn't in the cards yet. Maybe the ladies will be happy just sleeping together and I can vacate the bed? Maybe? Is it weird to have a sibling bed? I'm fresh out of ideas for the time being.


keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia said...

i say, do whatever works for you and your babies, momma. if a sibling bed would make them happy, then why not?

Ky • said...

Yes, but the question is: are you happy with the arrangement?

Nadja said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nadja said...

Ya know, I LOVE sleeping with them and they are so happy. I wish all four of us could be in bed together, but I know that is just plain not an option for Louis. Sleep is such a struggle for him and I've accepted that. I guess it just makes me feel all weird when some people make me feel bad for allowing Louis to sleep in a room by himself. I also have people tell me that they'll never learn to sleep on their own. My mom made an excellent point though in that I no longer sleep with her, soooo....

Trophy Life said...

long time, no comment.

but i'm not a parent and try to be totally objective in these matters. i value objectivity over many things though, so my thoughts are this:

see if the ladies will sleep with each other without you. one day, they'll not want to sleep together - maybe before they fight over clothes and what not? ; )

i agree with TP - whatever feels right to you.

Heidi Anderson said...

I'm in the midst of reading the no cry sleep solution and they encourage sibling sleeping! I say, whatever works!

the grumbles said...

totally pro sibling sleeping here. what you do now, or next month, or a year from now, is not what you're stuck with forever.

the corbett kid. said...

my boys had a shared bed for about 8-9mos, early last year. at the time one was 18mos & older one was 3. it worked. but i had to lay with them for them to fall asleep. and i still do. it works til about half way through the night and the younger one wakes up. but we all sleep. and that's the point. but every family's different. try it out?

right now they have two twin beds pushed together but with a safety rail between them.

they'll outgrow you, at some point. :)

Ky • said...

(Craig and I have mentioned that we think it would be super cute if Lila and Vivi sleep in the same bed when Vivi's big enough for a "big girl bed." I support it.)

Anne said...

I love this. "Musical beds" -- that's what we've done for a long time now. OK, here's our musical bed story -- sorry it's so long-winded, but here it is.

When Oliver was born, we put him in the crib because we really didn't know another way yet. By the time I realized I wanted him to co-sleep, it was too late -- he was a lousy co-sleeper, kicking and thrashing all over the place.

But when I got pregnant with Sam, I started sleeping in the guest bed because I felt too miserable to sleep with anyone else. And I started bringing Oliver in there with me to nurse at night. One bedtime he just walked over to the guest bed and waited for me to pick him up. So we threw out the box spring and gave him the queen-sized mattress. It's great because one of us can snuggle him to sleep every night, and sleep there for part of the night if we need to.

Sam came along and of course he slept with me at first. David got sick so he would often sleep on the couch, he found that more comfortable. On bad nights I would find myself going back and forth between my bed and Oliver's, trying to keep both kids asleep. One night I tried to bring Oliver into bed with me and Sam, but he just wasn't comfortable, and it was too hard for him to keep quiet.

He eventually got jealous of Sam and me, so I got Sam his own mattress on the floor. Now he sleeps in his own room, I sleep in his room with him unless Ollie needs me, and then I'm over there. David sleeps in our bed or sometimes with Ollie.

I kind of love it. I'm jealous that you can get both ladies to sleep together though. The pictures are wonderful.

Nadja said...

Gosh I'm so glad I talked about this! I was expecting just to vent and send this out into the universe. I was NOT expecting so many people to make me feel better. I was under the impression that we were a bunch of bed-hopping weirdos, and I've had people make me feel like I was destined for divorce because of where Louis sleeps.

Thank you everyone SO MUCH!!!

wrestling kitties said...

At the end of the day you just have to do what is best for you and your family, whatever sleeping arrangements that may be :)

Enjoy all that snuggle time!

Amber @ Backwards Life said...

Our sleep arrangements have always been funky like yours. I slept with Alexa for 18 months, and Peter actually slept in her room on her floor bed. Then we traded, and I stayed in there with her and he went back to our room.

Now she sleeps alone, but so do I. Peter comes to bed too late and I sleep like crap. Being pregnant doesn't help, so he sleeps on the couch. It's weird to me, but he snores and won't get it fixed so I can't deal with having another thing to wake me up.

Hoping he gets his nose fixed soon, that the new baby will sleep alone for the most part, and that we can go back to a normal arrangement soon.

Peter jokes about having the girls share a bed, but I think it's a great idea once the baby is old enough for it to be safe :-) We are going to at least try to have them share a room once the baby learns to sleep for the most part.