I had a CA-RAZY Spanish teacher in high school that use to chant this all them time when students would act up... which was constantly because they knew that if they acted up it would make the maniac chant. Viscious cycle. He ended up on "Medical Leave" because he flipped and chased a student with a stapler. I don't know if he was firing the staples at him like a gun, or was going to use it to inflict blunt force trauma. Anywho, it's happend to the best of us.
I'm thinking of him because I actually needed some sort of mantra in line at Kroger. We all know that I've had a zero tolerance policy for tools lately, and apparently the cosmos wanted to test my willpower.
Cosmo #1: I'm bored.
Cosmo #2: Me too. That mean Nadja girl claims that she's changed and doesn't swear at strangers anymore. Wanna see if we can get her to?
Cosmo #1: Do it.
So there I am RUNNING through Kroger because we have no food, my husband has to get to work, and I also need to get to the pharmacy and get home to Athena. I spy a line with only one person in it. Awesome. So I unload my whole cart expecting this to be speedy. All's well until the tiny gentleman in front of me takes out what appears to be AT LEAST 75 COUPONS. Most of which the cashier has to scroll back through to make sure he bought the right thing, manually take the money off, call over management 5 TIMES and discuss each one and how he found it. When the debate started over whether or not doughnuts and doughnut holes were the same thing, I was so close to getting up on the conveyor belt to kick them both in the throats I'm not entirely sure it didn't happen. I had been standing there for 25 minutes!!!! That is when God intervened, ended their conversation and the transaction and sent him on his way. I think I deserve some karmic points for smiling at all involved and leaving without saying a foul word, don't you?
4 comments:
Oh man, I feel your pain. Grocery stores are havens for places like this. Thank the Lord we don't barter on food prices.
N, you have to listen to me...Doughnuts and Doughnut holes, although they share the same ingredients, are not the same, repeat, NOT THE SAME! I'm glad you posted this PSA about the confusion.
Oh man! Yes, you do get some kind of award for that! It would have been so hard for me to keep back my utter annoyence at the situation! Did you count? :)
And yes Iris....why is it that all these people are at Grocery stores?!?! It is like all rules of common courtesy go out the door for people when they enter a grocery store.
Standing with their carts in the middle of isles so no one can get past, almost hitting you with a cart and not saying sorry, trying to get something next to you and not saying excuse me, acting like no one else is in the store but them, letting each of their 3 kids have one of those mini carts and saying it is a parade and smiling while they walk in front of you....while I have to wait for said parade to get out of my f&#*'n way!
Oh yes, grocery stores! If you can make it through one without causing a scene you should be on the list for sainthood!
Working at a grocery store for two years, let me just say that I had to deal with you people. But now I know that it wasn't me, it were the other patrons. This makes me happy to know!
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