Mmmmm... Baby Zombie Muffins....

Is it just me? Am I being an oversensitive mom? The baby arm coming out of this really disturbed me and gave me raging baby-zombie nightmares.

It's from Rachael Ray's magazine

Creepy Snuff-Picture Taker: Lucy Schaeffer

Warped Idea Thought Up By: Clare Crespo

Kudos ladies.

Have I done the time warp or have I lost it?

Seriously.

I had NO, and I mean NO idea it was Thursday. It's clearly Wednesday.

I checked at least 5 different time and date mediums and all of them have lied to me. They are all saying that it is Thursday. It's just not possible.

I don't believe I have ever been so confused over the day of the week before. Date? Sure, we've all been there... but DAY OF THE WEEK?

So it's got to be from one of these options:

1. Time warp

2. Someone slipped me a day long roofie.

3. I'm OVER Louis being gone on second shift for 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for the last 5 weeks and I'm totally knackered.

All three are plausible.

Oh this just irritated me...

I went to Google "Jessica Simpson HairDo" (as you all well know I'm a big fan of wigs) because I want some of the bangs here:

Yeah, those are CLIP ONS!!! Aren't they cute? I found them on sale on Amazon... but that's beside the point.

The point is a more searched Jessica Simpson term is "Jessica Simpson FAT!" followed by this picture:

Poor outfit choice? Uh huh. Unflattering bra? You bet. Fat girl? NO WAY. I'd guess she's a size 6 AT THE MOST. So if she's fat, so am I. And if you call ME fat, I'll punch you in the neck.

So just tell me I have cute bangs and we'll be friends.

ARE YOU $%#@ING KIDDING ME?

PLEASE SOME ONE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE BEFORE I COMBUST. PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME THAT SOME ONE DID NOT TAKE RICHARD PRYOR AS "The Toy" LITERALLY!!!!!!!!

When you say human toy do you mean clown?
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This is common enough to have its own series???

Tune In : I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant : Discovery Health

"I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant is a compelling documentary special that explores the fascinating and utterly surprising phenomenon of women who were completely unaware that they were pregnant...until they went into labor!"

I could imagine it MAYBE happening to SOMEONE, but this many???? I've been watching this and it absolutely blows my mind.

Here's what I pictured in my head:

Me: "Hey Ky (Two Pretzels), you're looking a little thick in the middle."

Ky: "Yeah, I kinda noticed that as well. Must be all the Jif."

Me: "Totally. Let's go to the bar."

Ky: "Just TRY to stop me."

Um, should he REALLY still be included???

"Vote for Chris on the Kids' Choice Awards 2009," says the message, which includes the balloting links for his two nominated categories.

Maybe AFTER he completes some major therapy.

Boo, Nickelodeon.

Why did Mickey Rourke do this?

He use to be slightly foxy.

I wish I was joking...

I totally love buying things from infomercials and I thought this little item looked awesome. Got one to try on the dogs, and it really is cool.

The problem? I read the directions, then made my way down to the "WARNINGS!!!". I am concerned about the eternal well being of the human race that this is necessary:
-Do not stick the Pedi-Paw in any of your orifices.

Really? Really??

Sell your crazy somewhere else

Uh, aren't we already making donations via our tax dollars?

http://g2th.com/?g=plluik

No freakin WAY!

Boy, 3, filmed smoking, mother convicted - CNN.com

Story Highlights
-Mother of a toddler caught smoking on camera receives suspended sentence
-A court was told the boy "looked like he had been smoking for many years"
-A friend of the boy's mother filmed him smoking and alerted social services

Sticking with the theme of "Who can find the worst baby name?"...

what would make a couple name their children "adolf hitler" and "aryan nation"?

does it merit the state taking these children from their parents?

Adolf Hitler, Aryan Nation, and Hinler taken into care by the state...

Who in the WORLD would marry this man??????

Still Married, Drew Peterson Gets Engaged


He's had MULTIPLE casualties!!!!!

Are they for real?

China Announces Successful Launch Of Astronauts,

3 Hours Before The Launch,

Complete With Astronaut Chatter

And Ground Crew Going Wild

Because it worked so well for them during the Olympics with fake fireworks, fake ethnic children, and a fake cute singing child?

Jerk of the Month Award

TOTALLY goes to this cop:

An officer pulled over a guy for doing almost 100 miles an hour. Turns out the man was trying to rush his dying dog to the vet. The cop yells at him "It's just a dog! You can get another one!!"

The whole thing has led to a national debate – the cop is even getting threats over it.

So, whose side are you on??

You can see the video at http://www.cnn.com/robin

I'd buy that for a dollar

Could There Someday Be an Exercise Pill?

Could this solution actually work?

"Researchers at the Salk Institute in San Diego have found two drugs that did wonders for the athletic endurance of “couch potato” mice. One drug, known as Aicar, increased the mice’s endurance on a treadmill by 44 percent after just four weeks of treatment. A second drug, GW1516, increased endurance by 75 percent, but had to be combined with exercise to have any effect.

The chemicals involved are already available, and athletes are asking about whether they work on humans."

Thoughts?

I won't post the picture in case it really grosses anyone out. This really disturbs me. Have you guys seen this picture? What is it? Is it a sea turtle that lost its shell? Something from the nearby experiment island?

What exactly is this that washed up on Montauk Beach? - The DIS ...-

It's Official...

... My boobs are now more popular than me. I now know what Jennifer Love Hewitt meant when she said that her boobs had a celebrity that was all their own. I'm thinking about getting mine an agent.

I now have a rack. I never did before, and now they're just out of control. I look like I've had implants. I guess that's what happens when you breastfeed for over a year. I've never encountered so many "helpful" and chatty men before. Yes, they're huge I know. For instance, on our morning walk I was chatted up by 5 men in different locations. Not ONE of them said their initial hello to my face. I also had a group of roofers yell "Hey look! Here she comes again! What's up? Shwing!" WHO SAYS THAT ANYMORE??? And need I remind you, I'm pushing a toddler in a stroller.

And if you have a mullet and a goatee down to your chest, you also have a guarantee that we will never speak.

The Old Man Better Watch It...

We've got a futon in the basement...

Woman kills husband with folding couch

Can You Believe it?

JonBenet Ramsey’s parents are innocent.

It took almost 12 years(!!!) for the D.A. to make that determination. In that time, her mother died of cancer. I feel so sorry for these people. They have spent the last 12 years with most of the world convinced that they killed their child. Seriously, just terrible.

Why can't this thing be solved?? Will it ever??

This is not a rhetorical question...

(Athena is whispering me the answer)

Why is it that every picture that I tried on facestat.com had some variation of the word "be-otch"? What makes ME look mean? Seriously.