Therapy... been there done that a few times over with many different people. I've been to conservative women, Hindi sex-crazed men (why do I know this about a therapist? Precisely why I stopped going) among others and have never felt like I was getting anywhere. I can officially say that I might see the pin hole of light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how minute it may be. For most of my life I've fought the idea of having OCD. I even convinced myself that I was just being dramatic. Hearing a psychiatrist and then her psychologist say that I have a "very, very severe case of OCD" was nothing short of an awakening. I have been helped more by these women in a couple months than I have been by others in a year. I have even began to omit a ritual and have greatly scaled another down.
Also, a few weeks ago Louis went along with me. This must be in caps because I feel so strongly about it. EVERY COUPLE SHOULD GO TO A COUNSELING SESSION. While we do not have marital problems, I have to say this is one of the best things we have ever done as a couple. The psychologist forced me to be honest about EVERYTHING and ask for help. I tried to leave things out and that bitch would sell me out every time. I think he was floored that I have hidden this so well for so long. When she compared my obsessions and compulsions to drug addiction, I was able to come off this pedestal in his mind and look at him face to face. Afterward, it was like he looked at me in this new way, like we were on a the same level, like I wasn't above him. We talked all night, laughed, got dinner and drinks, and he talked a lot about his trials and tribulations while going through rehab.
I still have a long row to hoe, a lot of obsessions to let go of, a lot of rituals to stop, but here's where I am right now... and I'm trying to not let the idea of the universe punishing me for feeling even remotely optimistic get the best of me.
6 comments:
good luck as you continue down this journey. sounds like you are onto something very positive in your life.
I have tears in my eyes. I am so glad that a.) you're seeing that pin-hole of light and that b.) you and your husband had such a fantastic awakening.
Love you. Keep on, keepin' on.
I also think its honorable for you to share this on your blog, as it might help other people.
I also thank you for saying every couple should go to therapy. I would like to do this with my husband, but feel like "should we have MAJOR problems in order to go?" I just think maybe we'd communicate better (we're on two different islands when communicating!)
Anyway, let us know the progress you make!
How wonderful that you are making progress and that the two of you can work together during this. It sounds like this is going to be a great thing in so many ways :)
Good for you Nadja (and Lou). Good for you. You are brave to go and to discuss it and that deserves to be commended.
Hey Chica,
Happy voting!
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