I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22.

Coming off the heels of my 33rd birthday and breathing down the neck of my 10 year wedding anniversary, I'm feeling nostalgic.

My 22nd birthday. I'm a baby!


(Those are bar bathroom condoms that were gifted to me.)
Also note the adorned left hand. I was also given a ring.

Spaced out, cold having, ring giver:

(Also a baby.)

Cold medicine kicked in:

Adorable. I loved him then but it's even better now.

Happy Throwback Thursday. Have some good memories with me!

My Diagnosis. Also? I think I have a mustache.

Had you told the girl in this picture that in ten years' time she'd be sitting in the bathroom putting Rogaine on her head with hair remover on her lip and an estrogen patch on her butt, I'd wager she'd keel over. Either that or punch you. Probably punch you. I use to be really bitchy. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that at the age of 32 I'd be dealing with the body of a 55 year old. The official diagnosis is estrogen deficiency. My body thinks it's in menopause. I've lost at least 50% of my hair, my ovaries have shut down, and for the past 6 years I've honestly thought I was losing my mind. The anxiety, depression, memory loss, COMPLETE emotional instability: ALL symptoms of estrogen deficiency. How did it take so long to figure out? Well, since I've been pregnant or breastfeeding since 2006, it was kind of hard to tell what was what. Certifiable problem or hormonal pregnant girl? Your guess. It wasn't until my body really started shutting down and I really started getting scared that I actually had dementia did I get full bloodwork. What's next? For the time being while we wait for Zofia to wean I'm on an estrogen patch. I shed my tears about the hormone replacement therapy drying up my milk and bringing an end to this stage of Zofia's life, but if left untreated, estrogen deficiency leads to osteoporosis, stroke, and heart disease. As my mom pointed out, Zofia would rather drink out of a cup than have me die of heart disease. Touche, mom. I'm not going to cut her off cold turkey though, so they aren't going to test for the cause of this deficiency just yet, such as tumors, as breastfeeding would skew the findings in lab work. (For now I'm going to pretend like there's never been any mention of tumors as I MIGHT FREAK THE FREAK OUT!!!!!!)

So, that's where I am. Estrogen patch firmly on my butt and a lot of fixing and healing to do. The toll that it has taken on my body, marriage, kids, career, and relationships is hard to put into words. The task of rebuilding everything makes me feel like an asthmatic acrophobic about to scale Mt. Everest. Impossible. I'm scared y'all. Real scared.

If you're the praying type, send me a prayer. If you're the hugging type, send me one of those. If you're the forgiving type, well thank the Good Lord for you.

Elves and Fairies. The Brocus Abode is chock full of magic.

I decided to do the creepy Elf on the Shelf thing after Athena found a random weird elf in our attic. We bought our house as an estate and a lot of stuff was left. This apparently includes creepy elves.... either that or he really did appear her from the North Pole. That's what we're letting Athena think.

Here he is fraternizing with Barbies. He's a randy elf.

THEN Athena lost her first tooth! She was wrestling with her dad and spit it out into his hands. She seems unimpressed.

But she thinks the hole is rad.

As much as I wanted to do it, Louis called dibs on being the tooth fairy. He gave her cash, coins, an Ohio State Pez, and a hand written letter. SHE FREAKED OUT WITH EXCITEMENT!

Parenting is the coolest. Kids make everything so much more fun.

Is this, in fact, the ugliest dress on the planet?

Louis claims that it is. I, however, do not believe that he has done the proper research to claim this the absolute ugliest in the world. I wear it with a black cardigan and black knee-high boots and do work.

He always use to make a scrunched up face whenever I came out in it and I politely ignored it. Then one day he asked:

"Why do you have to keep wearing that stupid dress?"
Me: (shocked and appalled) "What?? Why?? What's wrong with it??
Louis: "It is the absolute ugliest dress in the world. It's too short (what?? It comes to my knees!) it's too baggy, and the colors are horrible.
Me: "YOU ARE WRONG! I'M GOING TO ASK THE INTERNET!"

No internets, I want you to know that if it truly is ugly, I want you to be honest. I promise it will only make me laugh yet it would make Louis's day to be right about something for once in his life.

So tell me:

Is this the ugliest dress on the planet?
	Yes. Yes it is.
	Not the ugliest, but it's kinda ugly.
	Meh. I'm indifferent to it.
	Dude, I'd totally wear it.
pollcode.com free polls

Halloweeners

Gosh kids make stuff more fun! I'm tellin' ya, each year since we've had wee spawn Louis and I keep getting more and more into things like holidays and family activities. Last year Louis carved his first pumpkin, this year he joined us on out trick-or-treating, walk and NEXT year he wants to wear family costumes. I'm so excited I could die. I will spend this next year planning the most awesome family get-ups I can come up with.

Athena got to have her very first school party and wear a costume to school. I think her face will forever be frozen in smile.

Zofia was kind of being a turkey about putting her costume on for our daytime preschool trick-or-treating.

First she wanted to paint zombie eyes on:

Then she demanded she be a witch in a tutu. Whatever kid. Let's go:

Finally, once she saw Athena in the Goddess Athena costume, she was ready to put hers on as well:

I'm bummed they wouldn't let me get better pictures of them but you win some, you lose some with kids. We  had a great night strolling the streets as a family, spider goblet of wine in hand.

Happy Halloween!

More Conversations With Athena

I love talking to Athena. She's pretty great and frequently makes me laugh. The other day Louis was laying on the couch. He had his hood up, buried under a blanket, and moaned that he was dying.

Athena: "What's wrong, Daddy?"
Louis: "I have heartburn and I'm dying."
Athena: "You're really dying?"
Louis: "Yes."
Me: "Aw man. If Dad dies we're going to have to go out and find a new one."
Athena: "OH! Can it be Jason?!?! I want it to be Jason!"
(Jason is our hunky next door neighbor that Athena has had a crush on since she was 18 months old.)
Me: "OK."
Louis: "....." and made this face: >:/

Clearly she's known for her sensitivity.

I call this "Dad's in the Shower"

It's a spectacle. It has been for a long time.

Upon entering the shower dad hears things such as:

"You have a peep!!"
"I see your peep!"
"Are you peeing?!"
"Can we PLEASE come in?"

I take this as an opportunity to enjoy a nice glass of pinot noir. Cheers!

(Ok. I'm going to take this as an opportunity to be completely honest and tell you that that shot was taken from me on the toilet. We all have zero privacy. It's like a locker room. However, immediately getting off the pot I enjoyed my glass of wine.)

OCD be damned! We're off to the pumpkin patch!

9 Year of Marital Bliss

Today is my 9th wedding anniversary. We've been together a while so now there are little Brocuses to tend to. Louis shall be spending the first part of the day at work and I will take Zofia on a ride that will make her throw up, then she'll see the doctor she hates, then she and Athena will get multiple shots, and finally we will drive home and she will throw up again.

Kids. They kick ya where it counts.

Awesome.

If the ladies will allow it, maybe we'll get to grab a bite to eat while Yia Yia watches some pissed off little kids.

Look at us. So young.

 9 years. NINE years. I still feel like we're the young kids just starting to date. On the other hand I feel like we've been through so much I could do a better job counseling people than Dr. Phil.

I love being married. I love having a family. I'd love to write him a sappy letter but he'd never read it.

 Happy 9 years to Louis and Me. We deserve it!

Husband goes to the beach, I internet shop.

Not totally a balanced deal, but beggars can't be choosers.

My husband's dad sent him a plane ticket to come see him in Florida... no kids allowed. No kids? No me. So he took off this morning on his solo beach vacation.

(Stifling raging jealousy....)

So I did what I always do when I'm anxious and jealous: took an Ativan and bought some stuff. I'm sure there will be plenty more Ativans taken and pretty things purchased.

Today:

Shopping the Mark. Store

I bought the Hampton's Beach Look and I'm going to pretend that's where I'm going.

Then I bought the most fabulous acne lotion known to man. I need my skin to be tip-top for the Hamptons:

Break-Out Plan

Bonus? It came with free eye treatment pads.

And I shall keep on shopping...

HULK ATHENA SMASH!

Here is Athena upon finding the empty jelly bean tube in her Easter basket.

Her dad is in SO MUCH TROUBLE!

My first attempt on Pinterest recipes. Squee!

It took me a looooooong time to get into Pinterest. I thought it was boring and totally didn't get it. But all of a sudden I WANT TO PIN ALL THE THINGS!!! The crock pot recipes alone are enough to make me squee my pants.

Tomorrow is Louis' birthday and I'm going to make my first Pinterest recipes.

The cake:
Dear husband thinks he's too thick in the middle. I thought this was a lovely options.
"This recipe is 3 ingredients and 1.5 weight watchers points a piece! 1 box lemon cake mix-mix with one 20 oz bottle of diet 7-up Bake at 350 for 30 min in 9x13 pan Cool and top with one tub of light cool whip The entire cake is 19 weight watcher points and it is divine!"                   

Source: Uploaded by user via Nadja on Pinterest

Dinner:
How easy is this??
Frozen chicken, cream cheese, corn, black beans and rotel. Serve them babies in tortillas soft taco style!

Source: thelarsonlingo.blogspot.com via Allison on Pinterest

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 I love Pinterest. Please, come find me, follow me, and let me creep your boards!

Back in the Saddle

We just had a nasty run with a stomach virus, but ladies are happily on the mend.

I was vomitted on  by and held Zofia for 24 hours straight.

Thank you Lord for blessing me with these huge boobs that kept her hydrated the whole time.

2 vomitting kids is a 2 person job for sure. Louis' job was to man Athena. She was SO proud of herself for making it to the toilet in time and that she got to have 2 slumber parties with her dad. It's the little things that count when you're a kid I guess.

My mission now is to de-cootie the house and get this AWFUL SMELL OFF OF ME!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday - New Love

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Halloween!

Athena has made Halloween a huge deal in the house, and her love for the holiday grows each year. I love reliving childhood fun with her and she really gets Louis and me in the spirit (Louis is kind of a spoil-sport when it comes to holidays, so it's pretty fun). She starts wearing her witch costume in September and the monster cartoon and movie marathon begins then as well. I kid you not, we watched Hocus Pocus no less than 215 times and Charlie Brown Halloween 156 times. She will keep these movies on rotation until Charlie Brown Thanksgiving comes along and finally takes their place.

Generally I hate the Fall and its friend Winter that it brings along with it. However, this October was GLORIOUS! It was 80 degrees the day we went to the pumpkin patch. Zofia was totally into licking pumpkins.

Sheep face!

Every year Athena and I do the Point Place preschool daytime trick-or-treating, and even though it was raining we still went. Athena got herself and Zofia Halloween buckets from McDonald's, decorated them, and she gave Zofia the grand tour of the Point. They were soaking wet but in shockingly high spirits. Dad joined us for the evening trick-or-treating for the first time and Athena thought this was A.MAZ.ING. We had an awesome time.

Zofia was a crabby bumblebee by day...

...and Piglet by night.

Athena was a fairy princess.

I gave myself a little cat-eye and put on some cat ears. Then to finish off my look I walked out into the front yard, strapped Zofia into her stroller, watched some cars go by all with my entire boob out. Awesome.

I hope everyone had as much fun as we did and I'm looking forward to trolling the blogs today to see tons of cute kids in costumes!

8 years.

Today is our 8 year wedding anniversary. Sometimes I can't believe it's been this long, other times I can't believe it hasn't been 25 years. Not in a bad way, Never in a bad way. It's just I've know this man since I was a wee 17 year old high school girl. At that time, he was a cool 21 and therefore had no time for such children. In due time he found out how awesome I am and asked me out on a date. This date? Not exactly one for the scrap book. He brought a friend along and made me ride in the back seat. He was also trying to impress with his dad's bitchin' Camero, but he didn't know how to drive a stick shift and I wound up calling Kylee to come get me because I was so car sick. Yeah, not the best first date... however it WAS memorable.

The first time he said he loved me was also so typical of us. It was a Wednesday and he had golf league. I generally never heard from him on Wednesdays but on this one he called me on his way home from work. I could barely hear him because he had the windows down on the Jeep and Lou don't put the windows up for no one. He said, "Hey. I've got something I want to tell you and if I do it later you'll think I'm just saying it because I'm drunk and you won't believe me. I love you. I gotta go to golf. Talk to you later." True Lou style.

We have survived addiction, obsessions, and near financial ruin and came out on top. We blazed right past the 7 year itch like it was nothin'. We've got a happy home and two beautiful ladies. Ain't life grand?

My heart, she bursts!

Oh sweet Zofia. You're getting SO big. 14 months already? Where has the time gone? You are developing and changing so quickly. You run, you try to jump, and your climbing is completely out of control.

Your sister is your absolute best friend and you want to do everything she does, even if this will lead to a broken leg.

You guys are always together, always touching, always laughing. When you were first born I was so nervous about taking care of two littles. Turns out having two ladies is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

One of my absolute favorite things that we have shared is nursing. It's been the best experience for both of us. At 14 months you still think booby juice is the bee's knees and real food is merely something to play with. I will treasure our nightly nursing cuddle times forever.

Your likes: Bananas, balls, sand, your water table, tortilla chips, boobies, and Barbies.

Your hobbies: Dancing, belly button inspecting, and crayon eating.

Your dislikes: Diaper changes, shoes, and power tools.

Words you say: Hello, bye-bye, Mama, ball, Dada, Yia Yia

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Every month is a new, fun adventure. You know in the "Grinch" where his heart grows and explodes off the charts? That's what I feel like every time I hear my daughters laugh together. It explodes every time I think about what it's like to be the mom to two girls. And it explodes every time I see those two little ladies completely rule their dad. I did something so right in a past life to deserve these gifts I've gotten.