I can't sweep the floor because the ladies are sleeping and it would surely wake them.
I can't do laundry because the pile I need is in Zofia's room and she can hear floorboards creak like a mofo.
I can't clear the cobwebs that have formed because I fear the spiders that may be lurking in their depths.
I can't write a better blog post today because some little jerkoff at the store called me "ma'am" and I'm weak and stressed.
Speaking of "weak and stressed" my mom use to work for a large grocery company, and part of her job was reviewing applications and calling people in for interviews. Our long standing favorite was from a gentleman who left his previous job because (and I quote) "my baby mama left me and I was weak and stressed." Hence my use of the term.
Things I can do today:
Make excuses for keeping a dirty house.
Post things like this from The Oatmeal. Click on it. It expresses my fear of spiders in the best way possible.