Thursday, December 2, 2010

The tumor has left my head.

I believe I'm just going to use the email I sent to Ky over at TwoPretzels to update everyone. It's quite informative, no?

I went to the doctor and had the freaky lump on my forehead checked out and the surgeon determined it was a lipoma.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A lipoma is a benign tumor composed of fatty tissue. It is the most common form of soft tissue tumor.[1] Lipomas are soft to the touch, usually movable, and are generally painless. Many lipomas are small (under one centimeter diameter) but can enlarge to sizes greater than six centimeters. Lipomas are commonly found in adults from 40 to 60 years of age, but can also be found in children. Some sources claim that malignant transformation can occur,[2] while others say that this has yet to be convincingly documented.[3]

She scheduled me for surgery. I had myself completely convinced that once they got me open, they were going to find something much worse. Cue unbearable anxiety.

After a stupidass 13 hour fast I went in for surgery at the UT Medical Center, so this means there were students watching. I'd also like to add that I had this surgery with no anesthesia, only a shot of Lidocaine. I'm a freakin' badass. Anywho, it went like this:

Surgeon digging around in my forehead: "Huh, I keep waiting for the lipoma to pop up, but I'm not seeing it.

In my head: you can't find a lipoma because I clearly have a cancerous tumor looming in there and THAT'S what you're going to find.

Surgeon: "Oh, huh. This is unusual."


She beckons the students to look. "Well these are rare. It's a Hemangeoma."

SHIT! Anything ending in "oma" is never good. I knew it.

"Yes. Yes. It's very rare to find a vascular tumor like this."

ZOMG! It's a tumor. It's a tumor. It's a vascular tumor. I have a tumor in my head veins.

"I'm so sorry. This is going to be a lot more involved and longer than I was anticipating."

I'm going to vomit. I'm going to have to have chemo and I'm going to vomit.

Me finally able to speak: "I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up now."

Surgeon: "Oh gosh we'll have to turn you. You'll be OK."

Me: "I'm gonna throw up. Oh my gosh. How serious is this???"

Surgeon: "Oh gosh! You're fine! This is no big deal! It's benign. We'll get it all taken out right now. The only thing is it'll just be a few minutes longer."

DAMN! Say that shit to begin with, lady!!
THANK YOU JESUS AND GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So after it was taken out, she showed the big ol' weird thing to me and sent me off to recovery. Since I didn't have any sedation I could stroll right out. I left with my mom, went and checked out a sweet van that I want, and went home. My mother in law brought my ladies home to me and surprised me with the Christmas tree I wanted.

The freaking end! Holla!


wrestling kitties said...

Oh my goodness, I didn't realize you were going in today!!

I am SO glad you are doing well and home and now have a smooth head. That would totally freak me out to be awake while they did that and then in the middle where the Dr. says "Oh, huh. This is unusual." Yeah, I would have shit my hospital gown and been freak'n out too! Glad everything was OK!!

You know, T. gets these calcium deposits on his noggin the size of a junior mint and squeezes them HIMSELF and then shows me. (GROSS and not sanitary) He would have rather enjoyed looking at your Hemangeoma (hey-oh!).

Hope you are feeling better!

(It made me smile when you said you were looking at a van...VANS ROCK!)

Wendy said...

I'm so glad that it went well! Did you end up vomiting because I so would have ended up vomiting all over the place.

Arlene had a hemangeoma pop up when she was about three months old. It was right on her eyebrow. It got big for about a month and then went away. She also has one on her lower belly - but it's changed back to flesh color and has almost gone away. When I was doing research about them I was surprised at how common they really are. I didn't realize that adults could get them and they'd pop up like yours did. Huh. The more you know!

I'm glad you are all better! Did you have to have stitches? Do you have a sexy bandage? I think we need pictures of that! :)

Nadja said...

Yep, I've got stitches. The lidocaine started wearing off when I was getting them and could actually feel it.

I was going to take a picture! I should have!

Jenn - the van is suh-weet! Owned by a little old lady and only has 24,000 miles on it!

Sassytimes said...

Wow. I'm glad you are okay!

I would have been freaking out too. I find myself having so much more anxiety now...maybe it's age, maybe it's having two very small children...or maybe I'm just going nuts. Who knows.

Ky • said...

I smiled all the way through this both in my inbox AND on your blog.

I'm glad you're ok.

REALLY glad. That's a scary, scary thing to deal with.

(Let's talk more about this "sweet van" that you want. Is that an oxymoron?)

Mickey D. said...

This is good news. So glad that it all went well!

Consider me muis impressed that you were awake for this.

Please describe what this thing looked like. I rather enjoy gross things such as this. (Jenn: call me the next time T does that.)

Do you feel a ton of weight lifted now that it's over? I sure hope so!

Ruth said...

I'm glad you're ok. Now you have another hole in your head. Glad it's sewed up so no frontal lobe could escape! Hug the children for me!

Written Permission said...

OMG. I cannot believe she didn't LEAD with the fact that this was still no big deal. And I really can't believe you were awake for it! You are so brave. Seriously.

HOORAY that it's over, and it was no big deal (except for the mild heart attack from the inconsiderate doctor), and you got to look at your van! I, for one, think vans are awesome. :)

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belles♥mom said...

So I'm the worst neighbor EVER! I had no idea your surgery was going to be so soon! We'll bring over cookies as soon as their frosted! I'm so glad everything went well!

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Trophy Life said...

so good that all is well and also, what a crazy dr. to not choose the words exiting the mouth a bit better.