Saturday, July 28, 2012

Breastfeeding mamas: I NEED YOU

A dear, sweet friend of mine from high school has written me looking for encouragement. She's nursing her 6 month old daughter, Willow, and has hit a road block. I think everyone who has nursed knows what that feels like. You  feel like you can't go on one more moment with this person living off your body. You're tired. You're spent. You want to give up. My friend has even more than usual weighing on her. She became a widow as a pregnant newlywed. She suddenly lost her husband and then went on to become a single, working mama. She's trying to do it all: be a nurse, be a mama, and nurse her baby for a full year and still keep it all together.

Girlfriend is tired.

Can we please be her cheerleaders? She so desperately needs a full squad. What's the most encouraging thing ever said to you while nursing, or what is the most encouraging thing you can say to her?

10 comments:

1001petals said...

Seriously, if she doesn't feel like she can keep nursing, I would say that is ok. The baby and she will be fine. She has enough on her plate. If it's causing stress, then take the load off. It won't be the end of the world. Best wishes to her.

Nadja said...

She wants to keep going. She asked for a pep talk. I should have been more clear that I'm not pushing. She asked.

Amber @ Backwards Life said...

I would say just to take it one nursing session at a time.

When I was nursing Alexa I wanted to give up ALL THE TIME. It was so so so hard that first time. The last thing I wanted to hear was that I "could stop" because that I already knew. It was something that drove me nutty but ultimately I'm so happy I was able to get through it. At a year I had every intention of stopping because we "had made it" but ended up going until almost 2 years because, why not?

I totally understand wanting to have your body back though. Does she have friends or family near by that help with the baby in other things like bathing or just holding? I'm assuming she's working and pumping? Is there some kind of pumping care package you (or someone else) could put together to make that part of breastfeeding easier or more pleasant?

1001petals said...

I guess I'm very confused. I find that in society, at least the one I belong to and am exposed to, there is a lot of pressure to nurse. Fortunately I've been nursing for 4.5 yrs straight so don't have to fight that pressure, for me it's easy and a non-issue. I assumed if it was an issue for someone, they'd feel guilt hence me saying it's ok to stop. . . .. I was trying to be supportive in that way.

If she wants to keep nursing, then why wouldn't she? It doesn't have to be all or nothing, either. If she's working she may not have time to pump, she could just cut down on nursing sessions but still keep it up for a year or even more, if she so wishes. Formula can be used when her child is in daycare. Either she wants to stop, or doesn't. I don't really get how someone could encourage someone else either way(?) Maybe because it is completely foreign to the way I personally operate.

I hope she finds some peace.

Olivia said...

Tell her to set short goals like one more session, one more day, one more week...whatever feels doable for her. Also, at 6 months the baby will probably start eating solid foods soon and nursing sessions will begin to be shorter and less frequent. And never forget she is and AWESOME mother, she is doing an incredible job!

Adrianne P. said...

Set small goals..."I WILL make it through the next feeding!" Small goals end up turning into big goals because you lose track of time. I was there a few times and that's what I had to do. Alison and I made it to 16 months and that's when she self weaned. :)

Nadja said...

She appreciated this a lot.

Nadja said...

Thank you so much. I'm sharing these with her.

Nadja said...

Thank you. She appreciates these. I'm sharing them with her.

Becky said...

My encouraging words for your friend: Nursing is HARD. It IS a full time job at first...but the rewards are so amazing that it is all worth it! I wanted to give up every day almost the first 5-6 months. It was so hard, and then at 6 months I had to cut virtually everything yummy from my diet (due to my daughters food allergies) for the next year and a half. But it was worth it. And I weaned my daughter at 26 months and I regret it every.single.day. I want that time back so badly. My dad has always says to me, "in 10 years, you'll look back and this will feel like not a big deal." And you know what, in 10 years, she'll want to be nursing her baby again I'll bet :) Good luck to her, she's giving her baby an AMAZING AMAZING gift. Way to go for being a rock star mama.