Friday, October 5, 2012

The Conception of Zofia "What are the Odds" Brocus

Many of us blogger moms write beautiful, wonderful stories about the births of our children. They're stories filled with happy tears, love, and smooshy newborns. A recent tweet from my friend Keli got me thinking... Sometimes the stories start a little sooner and aren't all unicorns farting rainbows. Sometimes they're more PANIX AND SWEAR WORDZ AND MOAR PANIX!

For all the Henry "Mini Pills" and Zofia "What are the Odds," today we celebrate you.

I found out I was pregnant with Zofia on October 20th. I took an old test in the closet. POSITIVE! NO! Went to the Dollar Store for a fresh new test. POSITIVE! NO! Ran like my hair was on fire to a quick clinic. "I NEED A PREGNANCY TEST RIGHT NOW! I CARE NOT THAT YOU'RE ALL STARING AT ME WITH MOUTHS AGAPE! MOVE PEOPLE!" A nurse gets me to pee in her cup and we wait. NEGATIVE. THANK YOU JEEBUS! I collapse in relief and wait for my "get the hell out of here you lunatic" papers.

In walks the doctor. "Congratulations. I see you're going to have a baby."

"Nooooooooooooo. Not me. Nurse said all clear." says I.

"Well, I looked at the test myself. Definitely positive. You're pregnant." says she.

ROAR WITH RAGE! I run out crying and punch my steering wheel. Why was I acting like such a nutter, you ask? Well, I had JUST gotten on the right meds for my OCD. I was finally going to get better. Pregnancy #2 was NEVER in the plan.

 Little did I know when I woke that morning that a story was a'brewin' in my belly and actually began a couple weeks earlier. Louis and I had been practicing natural family planning for about 2 years, which was just me charting my cycles and telling him to keep the hell away from me the whole week of possible ovulation. One day in late September Athena was spending the night with her Yia Yia and Louis started making with the sexy eyes. "Dream on buddy," I says, "I'm only 2 days out from possible ovulation so don't even breathe by me." Not to be rejected Louis kept pushing the issue. I can still see my self standing in my kitchen, looking at the calendar, and biting my thumb nail. "What are the odds?" I thought. It took 4 entire years to get pregnant with Athena. What are the odds that ONE TIME will do anything.

Ahem. The odds are just fine.

This now 2 year old sitting here next to me is pawing at my chest, yelling "BOOBEES!"and is the absolute light of my life. Every day I sing to her that "I love her like a love song, baby," and I thank God, Allah, Buddha, and Oprah Winfrey that she's here. The universe knew exactly what I needed when they put our molecules together.

Thanks, Universe. I owe you one.


Jenni said...

I love this post. Logan was a "what are the odds?" child, too and I cannot imagine life without him.

Sherry said...

beautiful story, nadja. i think you should write a book too!

Anne said...

I love this. I sing "I love you like a love song baby" to Sam sometimes, too. There's something so intense about my love for Sam that it sounds like you share with Z.

Sam was kind of a "what are the odds?" child too. We'd planned to have a second, just no idea it would stick so soon, as it took years with O.

keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia said...

This is so sweet. And I agree with the whole "thank you JEEBUS for this baby" because Henry filled a part of my heart that I didn't even know was empty. Awwww.

Still. Mini pills are dumb.

Nadja Brocus said...

I hope she sees the humor in this some day.

Nadja Brocus said...

Zofia and I are OBSESSED with each other. It's ridiculous. I'm still going to be nursing her and wearing her in a sling when she's 5.

Nadja Brocus said...

Comments like this keep me going :D

Nadja Brocus said...

I thought I was a 1 and done mama. I'm my mom's only living child and I thought that was what I wanted too. Someone knew better than me.