A Terrifying Parenting Lesson Learned

Last night I almost lost Zofia. Typing that sentence, reliving the moment, is making my hands shake to where I can barely type.

We were folding laundry together in the living room like we do every week. She was taking clothes to her and Athena's rooms to put them in their dressers just like she always does. She makes the task take so much longer and their drawers are a disaster, but she loves to help her mama. I was preparing another pile for her to take when I heard s terrifying scream and a thunderous crash. I flew into Athena's room like a woman on fire and I couldn't even see Zofia. Athena's entire dresser and television set had toppled on top of her. She was trapped and screaming. The terror.

Oh, friends.

The terror.

I pushed everything off of her terrified of what I was going to find. By the sheer grace of a power much higher than me she was fine. Shaken, but fine.

I didn't sleep last night. My mind tortured me with all the "coulda beens." What if the TV fell on her head? What if the weight of it all had fallen differently and crushed her body? Why didn't I have it set up more safely? Well, it's because the dresser is so small I never thought about the danger before.

Only three drawers high. Sturdy. Flat on the floor. TV fits perfectly. But none of that matters. The fact is it still fell and nearly crushed my 2 year old daughter. I will never forget this. I will never be careless with furniture and kids and anchor EVERYTHING. I will kiss her every night and thank the Heavens that I still have her.

Others don't. www.meghanshope.org/

Secure your furniture. Spread the word.

How do some parents do it all?

I've got it pretty good. This I know. Things have changed a little bit with Athena starting school and me dipping my toes back into real estate, but a typical 24 hour period for me goes a little something like this now:

After cuddling, kissing, nursing, and sleeping with my favorite 2-year-old, we get up and at 'em at 7:50am. We then join the sweetest 5-year-old in the world on the couch for more cuddling and some cartoons. I make the ladies breakfast, get them dressed, and take Miss Athena to kindergarten at 8:50am. After drop-off, Zofia and I take care of any household or school related errands and head home. I do some housework, maybe do some social media work, and take care of any real estate business I have going on. Zofia and I cuddle some more, have lunch, nap, then pick Athena up at 3:10pm. We do homework, chat, start dinner and then welcome home dad. After some family time, it's back in bed with Zofia to start the cycle over again.

Of course I get overwhelmed sometimes. Working at home can be a challenge, housework piles up, I've got duties to take care of for the PTA, and I never get a break for just me (unless you count grocery shopping, and until they start serving booze, I don't), but for the most part I've got it easier than someone that works full time.

What about when things change? What about when I have to get TWO kids to school and start working for real? Like how do you get one kid to elementary school on time, get the other one to junior high on time, and THEN make it to a job on time? How do people do this? When the time comes will I get one of those necklaces that Hermione has in Harry Potter to be three places at once? Is that how parents do it? Honestly, it's the only way I can think of.

Are you someone that does it all? How does it work exactly?

Elves and Fairies. The Brocus Abode is chock full of magic.

I decided to do the creepy Elf on the Shelf thing after Athena found a random weird elf in our attic. We bought our house as an estate and a lot of stuff was left. This apparently includes creepy elves.... either that or he really did appear her from the North Pole. That's what we're letting Athena think.

Here he is fraternizing with Barbies. He's a randy elf.

THEN Athena lost her first tooth! She was wrestling with her dad and spit it out into his hands. She seems unimpressed.

But she thinks the hole is rad.

As much as I wanted to do it, Louis called dibs on being the tooth fairy. He gave her cash, coins, an Ohio State Pez, and a hand written letter. SHE FREAKED OUT WITH EXCITEMENT!

Parenting is the coolest. Kids make everything so much more fun.

Like a Boss - A Pediatric Dentist Experience

Look at this face:

Does that look like the face of a kid that had 4 fillings done with no numbing agents? Well it is. She had FOUR cavities drilled and filled and remained that happy. Guys? My kid is amazing. We watched tons of YouTube videos of kids getting cavities filled and we talked at length about everything that was going to happen, all the sounds, and all the sensations that she would feel from drilling.

She handled it like a boss. Good thing too. We have to go back 3 more times.

I'll let that sink in...

Three. More. Times.

How could I let my kid get to that point? Well, when they say don't let you kid go to sleep with a cup of milk, I guess they mean business. Athena went to bed with a bottle of breastmilk for an embarrassingly long period of time. I never manned up and put an end to it. I let her have her way and now my poor girl is paying the price. Lucky for Zofia, lesson learned.

Toddler Sleep... or Lack There of.

Oh my weary bones. When will they get to rest? Athena was a very high maintenance baby, never slept in a crib, always slept with me, and didn't sleep through the night until she was 2 1/2. When I was pregnant with Zofia, people assured me that the 2nd one is always easier. The parents are more relaxed, they have more experience, everyone wins. We started off on the right track with Zofia. She liked her own space, slept in a crib in her own room, and routinely went 4+ hours between nursing after 2 months.

NONE of this is the case anymore. She has decided that cribs are dumb and she wants mom's boobs All. Night. Long. Louis says I need to just let her cry and fall back asleep. I know she's not an infant anymore, but she wants me. She wants her mama. How can I get mad at her for that?

In a moment of desperation I brought her into Athena's room, we all got in bed together, Zofia nursed to sleep all cuddled between Mommy and her Sissy, and this is how we slept. Not having to get up and go to another room, get Zofia out of bed, nurse her, try to get her back down was great. It's the most sleep I've gotten in probably 4 years.

BUT... am I starting another bad habit? Is it bad to get her use to cosleeping so late in the game? Can I just let the ladies share a bed until they go off to college?

Oh, and another issue? They get kind of excited at first when they go in there. Getting them to settle down and sleep is kind of a circus.

Exhibit A:

Is this just another variation of the family bed?

Kids and OCD go together like peanut butter and swordfish.

GERMS! I loathe them! I fear them! I kill them with Lysol!! However, they kind of go hand in hand with the wee ones. I'm having to force myself to get over some stuff because of this. Take, for example, Fifi's eating habits. She will only eat food that follows at leas one of the following criteria:

1. Licked by a dog.

2. Rubbed on a dog's back.

3. Gound into the floor.

Ideally, the food will have done all three things. It makes me roll around on the floor groaning.

Ah, kids. It's funny that parents actually think they're in charge.

Gentle Parenting Advice Needed

 

The buppy (pacifier).

I always use to be such a hard ass. No one EVER put baby in the corner. Then I had kids. Somehow these little crib monkeys have turned me into a quivering pushover doormat blob. I always thought that I would parent with an iron fist. My way or the highways, kiddos. So how is it that Athena has completely called the shots in regards to diapers, potties, pacifiers, and bottles? These four items seemed innocent enough, but they have been major thorns in my parenting side (not to mention a giant source of marital disagreements.

It took a SOLID 2 years to fully potty train Athena, she'll be 4 in a month and we JUST got her switched to sippy cups for milk, she still sleeps with me, and she still depends on her buppy. Since we just climbed the mountains of diapers and bottles, I feel like we should ease her into the whole "no buppies" thing so she doesn't regress in any other areas. Louis thinks we should cold-turkey her on it and just let her cry for a couple days. I think that's too harsh, but I doubt myself because I AM such a doormat.

The time has long come for the pacifier to go the way of the Dodo, but how? What say you?





Cahoots

For some time now I've had a sneaking suspicion that the ladies were out to get me. Was it just lack of sleep making me paranoid? I didn't want to seem crazy(er) so I didn't say anything, but there was mounting evidence:

The staggered nighttime wake-ups to make sure I never sleep.
The simultaneous poops.
Never napping together.
The ENTIRE MONTH that they passed Croup and shit back and forth.
The simultaneous freak-outs.

Well now it's been confirmed that they are, in fact, working together. I was laying flat on my back on the floor from complete and utter exhaustion. Zofia crawled up and laid down on my right arm. Athena scooted up and sat down on my left arm. I thought they were being cuddly until, with arms pinned down, Athena jammed a feather duster in my mouth.

Yep. Working together.

For the love of all things holy, AP moms, please help me.

I'm going to try to be coherent, but I haven't gotten more than a couple hours of sleep in a long time, and last night Zofia never let me go to bed.

Night time has never been an easy time for me as a parent. My kids rule me. I have always co-slept with my 3 year old and still do even now that Zofia, 7 months, is here. I tried having her in the same room with us and she just didn't sleep. The ladies fed off eachother's energy and just stayed awake, so I put Zofia in her crib in her own room and she slept much better.

Until now.

I can't get her to lay down. She nurses to sleep and then when I go to put her to bed, the second she feels her back hit the mattress SHE GOES NUTS. Screaming, flailing, rolling, coughing. It's horrible. So I pick her up, she stops, goes back to sleep, I lay her down, screaming, flailing, rolling, coughing. Repeat this scenario 50 times.

Here are the things going on:
1. Teething.
2. Just getting over a cold.
3. Just figuring out how to sit up and feels that laying down is for losers.

What do I do? I've never let a baby cry it out (as suggested by my husband and many others) and am really uncomfortable with that. How long, if at all, do I let her cry and try to fall asleep? Is this a common phase? Do I just ride it out and let her sleep on me?

I feel like I'm going to fall asleep standing up..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Meet My Dictaddler

Dictaddler- noun. A combination of the words "dictator" and "toddler". A toddler who rules via dictatorship. "Athena, stop acting like a dictaddler or no one will want to play with you."

I gotta tell ya, 3-year-olds are rough. I always heard about the "terrible 2's" and feared them. When that came and went I thought "well that wasn't so bad!" Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Um, why didn't anyone say that once a kid turns 3 they go cuh-razy. Their brains get all smarter-like so that means they can back-talk. And argue. And con.

We actually have to make her think that WE'RE making some sort of concessions to get her to eat, go to bed, use the toilet, etc.

I have to say, I would never take this kind of abuse from anyone else. If it were a boyfriend, he'd be dumped. Yet Louis and I take it from her and love her to the moon and back.

What are 4-year-olds like?