To Friday

With the help of my enabling mom and the beauty of teh internets, I have discovered Wine Ice Cream USA. As a frequent sad bastard, what better way would there be to eat away some feelings than with 5% alcohol ice cream IN MY BELOVED WINE FLAVORS!?!!

This is revolutionary. 

I'm writing to them to see if they'll distribute their magic to other states. Bored housewives the country over will rejoice with me!

Posted, I shall keep you.

Cheers, end of NaBloPoMo Maybe! Smell ya later!

Shall I get all T.M.I. up in hurrr?? Lady Parts? Yes, lady parts.

Sure. Why not. I like telling overly personal things to people rendering them speechless. It's my thing.

"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here are my boobies. With a toddler on them. Call me maybe? We'll go see Twilight together or something.... hey! Where are you going?"

My version of the song is funnier and better.

Anywho, let's catch up on my hair loss and lady parts. It's still coming out like whoa and my lady parts are on the fritz. Zofia is 2 1/2 years old and I still haven't gotten my menstrual cycle back yet. I hadn't really given it much thought until I realized, "Hey. I haven't had a period since September of 2009. That can't be normal." So I contacted my lactation consultant extraordinaire and just as I suspected, it's not the norm. This urged me to call my regular doctor and give him the deets:

No Period.
Hot flashes
Itchy skin
Lady parts on the fritz
Libido hovering around -10 on the sexy scale
RAGE

See where I'm going with this? Menopause. At 32. Turns out that's exactly the age that it started for my grandma. Sooooooo..... back to the lab for more tests.

I'll throw a lady parts party if I finally get some answers. Here's my uterus:

angry uterus is angry

by ~shhscribbles

©2008-2012 ~shhscribbles

Say hello to Ottawa River's newest junior cheerleader...

She got right down to business leading Zofia.

I've never actually wished death upon someone...

I've never come right out and said, "I wish he would die" before, but for the first time yesterday I said it would be better if he did... or if any of the three did.

Bad things come in threes, right? My dad, my stepdad, and my brother. *They all have their own sweet little clickable links. They've all had some sort of purpose to serve but that purpose is long gone and now all they give to this world is danger and pain.

Like I said, I won't come right out and wish it, but dammit all if it wouldn't be better.

I've written extensively about the Dickface Trifecta on BlogHer and how they've affected me and tortured my mom, and many have enquired about her view of it all. After all, it all began with her long before I was born.

She's finally had enough and is stepping out into the light to see what she can find here. BlogHer has given me a voice that I wouldn't have had otherwise and I've suggested using that space for her journal. I'm hoping the large community of abuse victims there will embrace her, encourage her, and lead her further out of the dark.

Please visit her. Support her. Share her. Let's build her a virtual village.

Is My Spouse Verbally Abusive and Controlling?

Cyber Monday at MY Shops - Mark. and Avon

When you support shops like mine you're supporting a small business owner... a VERY small business in fact. So shop happy knowing that you're helping out in a very big way!

Shop now at My Mark. Store

Then go see what's up over at My Avon Shop!

"I Spilled Rogaine On My Face!" - And other tales of woe.

I spilled Rogaine on my face. I can't say it was one of my finer moments. I sat there staring at myself in the mirror watching it run down my face like "Really? Really? I'm a Rogain user?" I was temporarily worried about growing a uni-brow until I realized that if I DID in fact grow one it would mean Rogaine works for me so... come on uni-brow? *sigh*

Speaking of Rogaine usage, more hair has come out lately. Worse before it gets better? It's hard on the psyche, man. I pray this works.

Something is bothering me and I can't figure out what it is. Usually I know the reason for my emo feelings- barf, germs, anxiety, but I am a Krab with a capital K. What gives? Holidays centered around food are great!

I'm tired of wiping my dog's poopy ass every time she goes outside.

Louis won't let me have this house with the round room overlooking the river.

I have no one to see Breaking Dawn 2 with and even if I did I probably wouldn't go anyway because I'm weird and reclusive.

I ordered the wrong yoga pants from Old Navy

I'm completely over NaBloPoMo Maybe because I don't know what to say.

My couch is gross. When do I get to have nice things?

I'm making this face >:/

Where ya headin', ladies?

Off for the holiday weekend, I s'pose.

Happy shopping!

Black Friday on MY Sites

Visit my Mark. Store and enter code MARK20. Free shipping on all orders $50 and over.

May I suggest some holiday pretties?

Remember that DRESS?

Or My Avon Site

Gift for hims? I love this stuff. The ladies always get it for Louis. $35 for the whole set.

Have a happy Black Friday shopping from your couch. 

No pants required!

Why do I have my crabby pants on?

Seriously. Why must I have this attitude on holidays? I know how fortunate I am. I have everything I need (Well, except hair. And the glob that came out is surely affecting my mood) but winter holidays give my the groucheez.

This helped for a second...

But I went right back to surly town.

Let's all just look at Zofia's Christmas card picture smile and try to remember all the good things in life. Like wine.

LATE BREAKING ATHENA NEWS!!

We interrupt this Wordless Wednesday post to bring you the most current Athena Elizabeth Kindergarten news.

Sources closest to the kindergartner (me, her mom) have been told by her that she has been on her first date. It seems Athena has had a strong desire to visit "The Snack Cart" in the lunchroom but hasn't been allowed to until her mother comes in and surveys the situation. Athena wasn't taking this laying down. After all, she 5 years old now. Practically a teenager.

Pictured here doing the exasperated teen stare.

It all started yesterday. A boy named Lucas has been sitting by her at lunch and declared her his "honey bunny." Today she expressed her cherry beverage desires to the young boy and he quickly walked her up to the snack cart and purchased her this drink even though this meant he had no money left for himself. Athena greatly enjoyed this escapade and has asked if she can return the favor via cookie purchase tomorrow.

I'll allow it.

Wednesday morning she will be showing me who Lucas is, and since it's UM/OSU spirit day at school, she will be reporting back to her father if Lucas is in appropriate Ohio State attire.

We will not be telling Lucas that Athena asked me if I thought "Tucker" was cute.

From Printstagram site:

The MINIBOOK

Print 50 photos in a little spiral-bound book with thick glossy pages. Get two in each order.

100 photos total - $12

I was apprehensive about ordering because of the size, didn't want to waste money, and well, my kids ruin everything. After some cajoling on Twitter from Social Print Studio, I ordered the Minibook for the ladies, ages 5 and 2. 

With lightening speed it was at my door and into the sticky fingers of the ladies. These little books are AWESOME. Perfect size for little hands, fun instagram pictures, and crazy thick, glossy, plastic-like pages that they can't destroy. I love, love, love them. People will be getting these for Christmas.

*I was not paid to write this review. I bought the items myself, loved them, and wrote about them in hopes of getting a sweet coupon code.

Do not give me the lurgy.

I do not want to barf.
I'm barfed out.
Week 1, Athena barfed all about the house.
Week 2, Zofia barfed all about the house, the car, and the school.
I've had enough and I refuse to get it so I got some of these:

Emergen-c Raspberry

And in true Nadja style, I mixed it with this:

Yellow tail Chardonnay 

And created a pink sparkly beverage that makes me forget all about teh pukes.

Cheers.

Zofia

Since we focused on Athena for Saturday, let's talk about Zofia today. First of all, I'd like to report that she has quit barfing and we we all survived. Praise Jeebus. Have a sucker.

Second, this is currently her favorite thing to watch. She yells at me to put it on every time I open the damn computer:




Third. While we were watching cat videos on YouTube a very boob-centered picture of Nicki Minaj came up and she tried to honk it.

Girlfriend loves her boobies.

And there you have Zofia's week.

Athena's Week in Kindergarten

Even with the lurgey taking over our house, a certain exuberant schoolgirl still had places to be. Still had homework to do and still had... boys to talk to?? Ahem...

I give you Athena's first gift from a boy:

Work on the street is rectangles are the new expression of love. His name is Jacob, and even though I told her we're Team Edward, she would not be swayed.

Girlfriend is starting to READ! This just amazes me for some reason. She loves animal stuff.

Little Miss Bee also had a test like a daggone teenager or something. She got a 95%. My "A" student. I love her :)

Having a school-age kid rocks my sock off, man.

Where I am in CrazyLand

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

By Mayo Clinic staff on www.mayoclinic.com 

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions). With obsessive-compulsive disorder, you may realize that your obsessions aren't reasonable, and you may try to ignore them or stop them. But that only increases your distress and anxiety. Ultimately, you feel driven to perform compulsive acts in an effort to ease your stressful feelings.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder often centers around themes, such as a fear of getting contaminated by germs. To ease your contamination fears, you may compulsively wash your hands until they're sore and chapped. Despite your efforts, thoughts of obsessive-compulsive behavior keep coming back. This leads to more ritualistic behavior — and a vicious cycle that's characteristic of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Emetaphobia
From Wikipedia

(from the Greek εμετός, to vomit, and φόβος (phóbos), meaning "fear") is an intense, irrational fear or anxietypertaining to vomiting. This specific phobia can also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated.^[1] Emetophobia is clinically considered an “elusive predicament” because limited research has been done pertaining to it.^[2] The fear of vomiting receives little attention compared with other irrational fears, yet it is the fifth most common phobia.
According to experts, emetophobia can be triggered by a single traumatic event, such as a long bout of stomach flu, accidentally vomiting in public, or having to witness someone else vomit. This fear can be triggered at any time and at any age and is not specific to a gender or demographic. Interestingly, most people with emetophobia rarely, if ever, vomit. Some sufferers report that they have not thrown up since childhood, yet they constantly worry that it might happen

I have both of these afflictions, a toddler with the stomach flu, and the sole responsibility of getting a kindergartner to and from school. The vomiting in the car may be my brain's final undoing.

I'm dying. Crazy hurts.

Should I just commit?

I've been doing my NaBloPoMo Maybe posts throughout the month.

I wish we all talked more.

I'm halfway through.

Should I just commit?

I suck at blogging. And this is crazy. But it's the 15th. NaBloPoMo Maybe?

Wordless Wednesday - Dern Kids

Is this, in fact, the ugliest dress on the planet?

Louis claims that it is. I, however, do not believe that he has done the proper research to claim this the absolute ugliest in the world. I wear it with a black cardigan and black knee-high boots and do work.

He always use to make a scrunched up face whenever I came out in it and I politely ignored it. Then one day he asked:

"Why do you have to keep wearing that stupid dress?"
Me: (shocked and appalled) "What?? Why?? What's wrong with it??
Louis: "It is the absolute ugliest dress in the world. It's too short (what?? It comes to my knees!) it's too baggy, and the colors are horrible.
Me: "YOU ARE WRONG! I'M GOING TO ASK THE INTERNET!"

No internets, I want you to know that if it truly is ugly, I want you to be honest. I promise it will only make me laugh yet it would make Louis's day to be right about something for once in his life.

So tell me:

Is this the ugliest dress on the planet?
	Yes. Yes it is.
	Not the ugliest, but it's kinda ugly.
	Meh. I'm indifferent to it.
	Dude, I'd totally wear it.
pollcode.com free polls

Conversations with Athena

We were driving in the car on our way to school when Athena exclaims:

A: "Oh, barnacles!"
Me: "What? What's wrong?"
A: "Your store is closed!"
Me: "It is? What store?"
A: "Your wine store! How will you buy your wine?!?!?!"

We have a loose toof!

Today Athena informed me that her tooth hurt. I was concerned thinking she had another daggone cavity in her daggon British teeth. However, upon further inspection I found she has two loose teeth. After many tears and screams, I finally convinced her that having the Tooth Fairy come is super rad and she should let me take a picture of her wiggling it with her tongue. So pictured above is Athena wiggling her tooth and showing her MagnaDoodle drawing of what her mouth feels like.

Next up? Tooth extraction. Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!